Heart or Mind ?

Image borrowed from the internet

Today I’m going to share something that I had kept concealed down in my memory lane,

Something is hidden in a secret folder,

Where I keep all the evocative memories of her,

Memories of her ardent love,

Memories of “us” which now cause nothing but overwhelming surges of pain.

Yeah, she left me.

She left me when we’d decided to shelve the “US”

She left saying: we’ll just be friends.

After her exit, I couldn’t make another fresh start.

She’d told me to keep her out of my mind,

Little did she know what she was leaving behind.

Loving her has been like breathing underwater,

And I think I’m sinking to the ocean floor now.

I tried to move on,

I tried really hard when she was gone.

But, nothing stopped me from going back to her,

She tore me apart once again,

like an ocean tears the sand,

And I kept longing to know the thoughts in her mind.

I think sedation won’t happen now,

And the pain of this will never cease.

Now I’m drowned deep inside her love,

I worshiped what we had and I believe in the infinity of my love,

But for her, the love is gone in a blink of an eye,

I didn’t correct her innocent lie.

All these memories only bring emptiness and feelings of nothing.

And when I think of ‘us’,

my whole body screams in agony,

Was it just a cruel game played by the destiny?

I thought I must find someone who will make me forget her.

I searched, I searched a lot,

But I found nobody who can fill the empty void that she has left in me.

maybe the problem is that I’m searching for her,

but again, she is the only one.

Maybe I’m not ready, probably never will be,

To see that she have no love left for me.

The very depth of my soul still longs for her,

I still want her, her present and her future.

But, my mind is screaming at me,

“let go, she’s not good for you, she doesn’t deserve your love”

Who do I listen to? My heart, who yearns for her,

or my mind, who is screaming at me that she doesn’t deserve my love?

I guess my stubborn heart is the one who is dominating this race,

Hence, even if she broke my heart into a million pieces, I will still be here waiting.

Because I still love her and who knows what the future holds.

No, I don’t expect anything from her,

Anything. but one thing:

To remember that at least one person is loving,

ready to welcome her with open arms.

And protect her from all of the harms.

I don’t think he’s stupid enough to break up with her,

But if he does, I don’t want her to think that she’s worthless.

Because I have gone through that situation and I know how insecurity can become too ruthless.
To her,

“Believe me you’re special.

Special enough to make me happily offer my heart, once again.

Which is and will always be yours”

– Mahesh

#Fiction

Copyrighted © 2017

Mahesh Mali |Awesomengers
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

136 thoughts on “Heart or Mind ?

  1. my valiant soul June 11, 2017 — 7:27 pm

    Oh my!This must have been horrible for you and somewhere deep down you know,better things await for you.
    Don’t hang on the past,I would say.Time heals everything.Trust me.

    Liked by 9 people

    1. my valiant soul June 11, 2017 — 7:27 pm

      And now I see the tag fiction.Oops!!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Hehe it’s okay. I should write “fiction” at starting.. to avoid such misunderstandings 😁

        Liked by 2 people

      2. my valiant soul June 11, 2017 — 7:31 pm

        Lol.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. 😅 Thank you for stopping by 😊😇

        Liked by 1 person

      4. my valiant soul June 11, 2017 — 7:34 pm

        My pleasure.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you so much for your concern 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. my valiant soul June 11, 2017 — 7:30 pm

        Oh,sure.:)

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey, Princess writer, I know you’re new to blogosphere and want to get noticed… please visit : https://thebloggersunited.wordpress.com/

        This is an initiative we have started to give platform to new talent to reach more people via guest posts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh thank you but am kind of old here just want new funds but still, thanks. Will surely check

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ohh.. okay, I thought you’re a newbie… sorry. Nice to meet you 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh very nice to meet u too. Am an authoress and also a poet, u?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I’m just a normal guy who write poems, stories and socio-political articles once in while 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Be an author, u can easily get through, u write well. Am young but am still an authoress

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Well I really don’t think that I write THAT GOOD… but thanks for this lovely comment. I hope you were a publisher… so, I might have considered this thought 😜

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Lol, we can find one Cox am looking forward to finding new one for my latest novel

        Like

    1. Kya bhai aap bhi … yeh sawal yaha puchhna jarrori tha ? 😬

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG! This left me speechless, Mr Positive. These lines, “Loving her has been like breathing underwater”, these are so intense. One of your best works, definitely. I can never imagine how it feels like to find your love with someone else, but it’s just that everything will heal one day, I’m sure. As I always say, when she will come, she’ll bring a flood of love with her. ☺ You deserve all the love, and she would make you realise how beautiful and important and amazing you truly are. Do not restrict yourself, and stay happy and healthy. 💙 Lots of love. 😇

    -Firefly 🐝

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Chandni, you’re the one who leave me speechless every time with your sweet comments … idk how to reply ( as always )… but thank you, thank you so much 😇

      Liked by 2 people

  3. You are no doubt an awesomonger! The line “Loving her has been like breathing under water”, left me amazed, I can’t find any possible word to tell my expression. Standing ovation for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much ma’am 😇

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keep writing and keep making us amazed!

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Is this really fiction? Seems like real, you described really well.
    Remembers me to my write up “brain&heart”

    Don’t listen to your heart btw, listen to your mind!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Hati 😇
      Btw, Hati is a quite interesting name … what it means ? #curious 😬

      And I’ll surely visit your blog to read “brain&heart”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hati is nickname of mine, well in hindi its meaning is “elephant ” 😅but mine came from turkish. Short version of “hatice” as my name is Nurgül Hatice 😊

        Oh… You know few days back I was about to delete it, I am not sure if I could express well… maybe u’ll hurry 😅

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well I just Googled “Hati” { though i know hati matlab elephant 😬 }
        and I found that in Indonesian “hati” means “heart”

        Okay, now what’s the meaning of Nurgul ? 😬😂 am I asking too much questions ?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hati in indonesian ❤️?!!! Wow I am speechless thank youuu, now I have finally a beautiful meaning and can back off all elephant sayer😅😅😅😅

        Nurgül means shine of rose- or roseshine

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Wow yaar.. so many beautiful meanings of a single name !
        Don’t delete it 😉😅😄✌

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You are the first person who sees the beauty in my names… 😍

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Really ? Well, start seeing beauty in yourself & your name, soon others will also start noticing it 😉
        #PhilosophicalMe 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      7. U fell from heaven or what? In bad times? ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

      8. 😂 Nope. Not at all. I was born & brought up on a planet called Earth 😁 lol

        Liked by 2 people

      9. I am happy u ve wrote me and cheered me up today…for me u fell from heaven

        Liked by 1 person

      10. My pleasure 💛
        Nice to meet you @Hati

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank god it’s fiction.. Blogs are filled with guys crying for lost love… Sometimes I really don’t know whether to comment on such posts.. Because when I commiserate the guy says he just wrote it… What a dilemma

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Haha, I’m also thankful to god… I’m not suffering through that painful phase ✌

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Great. And I am just shalini no ji

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I guess you are an elder to me. That’s why I added “ji”
        Anyway, thank you once again for stopping by, Shalini 😇

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Only Indians are obsessed with age. Every other country takes a human as a human. Respect doesn’t come by age. It comes with the strength of character

        Liked by 2 people

      4. And being a typical Indian, I’m very used to respect people by age 😬
        But I’ll surely try to adopt the western way…

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It’s not about that.. I am ok being called shalini. It’s the name my parents gave me.. So its fine

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Okay, I understand. Have an awesome week, Shalini 😇

        Liked by 1 person

      7. U too mahesh and write lots

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! This is so amazing! Your words caused me to feel this pain you’ve been feeling. It’s hard, I know. But hold on to hope. Everything will fall into place very soon. 😊💐

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks a lot for your good wishes 😇

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow, wow, wow. Can’t say anything beyond it. Felt the emotions associated with every single word you have penned down. Loved this piece of work from both my heart and mind.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Awww. Thank you so much for this lovely comment, Maitrayee 🙂

      Like

  8. Was it all fiction….I really admire people who create such touching fictions….u know readers like me get an emotional connect!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know it means a lot when readers can relate themselves…. Thank you so much, Pragya ❤😇

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Your writing standards are really at peak. Loved it. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You really think so ?
      Btw, that’s a really sweet compliment ❤
      Thank you Shreya 😇

      Like

      1. Ya really. 😊
        My pleasure! ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I saw the tag “Fiction” and I sincerely hope it was… But I think this is a reality that plays out for many – we have all been at one or the other end in our life. Great work!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, I know. we all have been in that situation… and that’s why I was able to write this one.
      Thank you for sharing your view 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Mcube you always leave me spellbound with your words… Your fictions and it’s realities…
    Sometimes things are not meant as we want though it’s veryyy difficult but yes moving on is the only option people are left with. Time heals every pain and so it will. Destiny is very powerful and you’ll sure get the one you deserve.
    My Pixie Dust is always on you😇
    All the Best for Future!
    Keep Writing the magical words.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Jadooo for such a lovely comment 💛
      With your pixie dust, maybe I’ll be able to write more amazing stuff 😉😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Please is all mine! 😇😇 Sure you will be able to👍😉

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You, my friend…..you know passion. Yes you do. ♥︎♥︎♥︎

    Liked by 2 people

  13. It seems so real .I thought it’s your real story .Well written and thanks for following my blog😆

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Most welcome .I have read few of your posts ,but I will read others very soon .Keep posting👍

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Even I have read few of your posts and must say you’re very good at writing and especially the social issues wale posts !

        Like

      3. Oh ,Really .Thanks a lot buddy ❤.It will inspire me .Thanks for reading it.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Amazing ……… It’s good that you shared this secret folder which u wanted to share long back but couldn’t and at last You’ve decided to share it . “Love ” ❤️is a wonderful feeling that is rare to find no doubt in it but the most important fact relies is the very strong fact that “Love with the right person is a blessing and with the wrong person is Learning ”

    Wonderful post. 👍keep sharing such stories : Fiction or Real 😅doesn’t matter .
    Loved the way you expressed it 😊✌️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Mohammed for such a lovely comment 😇
      Seems like you’re new in blogging family of WordPress… Welcome to blogosphere buddy ! Wish you a happy blogging journey !!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah Mahesh new to blogging family . Thank you 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  15. This is stunning!
    Keep writing!
    YNWA

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Beautiful lines☺

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I can feel that. Infact, there’s hardly anyone on this planet who hasn’t been through a terrible heartbreak, be it the loss of any loved one. This was so touching and beautiful. ♡

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I thought it’s real ,but the tag shows it’s fiction.Beautifully written😊

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Welcome buddy😆

        Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes,Sure dear.I will check it,when I will get time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh thank u so much dearest!

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Wow!, they say “nothing is done perfectly ” but with the exception of this. Believe me it’s perfect and awesome. Tho I don’t believe in love, not any more, but it touches me, it’s coo!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Princess writer for such a lovely comment 💛 I hope you’ll meet someone in future who will make you believe in love again 😇✌

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kind of not easy but thanks, and I hope u don’t mind me asking uyour

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Pardon me, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say/ask 😬

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh sorry what I meant was I hope u don’t mind me asking ur followers to visit me. I just like sharing my creativity with people that’s all.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Of course I don’t mind… but you it will be better if you ask them to visit your blog by commenting on one of their post… just a suggestion

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yh of course, I use to, but after they checked on me, cos then I have full access to them. U know it’s not like I know them or something Nw

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Oh, come on ! You’re an authoress right ? So, you must be knowing that how much we our words… so when you READ their posts and share your views/criticism or whatever, believe me they’ll visit your blog for sure and if they like your blog they will start following.

        And about “you-don’t-know-them” thing… if you are comfortable asking them to visit your blog HERE, I don’t think there should be any problem asking them on THEIR BLOG. I don’t know why you want to visit them FIRST, why can’t you visit others ? You said you want to make new friends… well, it seems likes you want READERS/FOLLOWERS not FRIENDS. If you want friends, it’s always good to take a lead… I hope you got my point

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Oh, I wanted readers not followers mark u, I have a lot of them out their, though everyone would love to have much more. Don’t u know dat before an author or authoress writes his or her book, he has to post something for criticism to see his mistakes and correct it. So am trying to blend in as no one to know dat

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Did my reply was little rude ? Sorry. And if it’s about your upcoming novel… ask anyone, everyone you can find on my blog to visit your blog 😇

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Oh it’s nothing, am use to more than this. If u don’t like criticism, u can’t be an author!, lol

        Like

      10. And about visiting them, I do too and also follow them. Am a kind of person that loves her fans and followers, I don’t take advantage and like u knw…lol. So I don’t get tired of them following me xxoo!, but if they don’t, I still appreciate them too

        Liked by 1 person

      11. May I know your name, ma’am ? So, I can find your novel/s to read… and maybe you’ll get an another fan 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Yes sure I use princess writer. I will have another one published soon. Check it on my blog an a post called “advertisement”

        Like

      13. And am miss not ma’am, lol, and by the way, I would post one of my books here to show my appreciation for the cramn award”

        Like

      14. You will see that at the end of my post on cramn

        Like

      15. Thanks for the advice by the way:)

        Liked by 1 person

  20. So beautiful

    Liked by 2 people

  21. And there’s always a battle going on between heart and mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Correct.
      Thank you for stopping by…

      Liked by 1 person

  22. This is beautifully written! :))

    Liked by 2 people

  23. ohhh I know how u must have felt…same happnd wid me, i’m gng thru it….its fine

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ohhh, I hope you’ll recover from that very soon.. and believe me, when the heartache will fade, you will see the good in “goodbye”. Please don’t ever take whatever happened personally. It just means that you’re destined to be the romantic co-star in someone else’s life-movie 😎✌

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yes…same goes to u too!!

        Liked by 1 person

  24. I feel your pain. I know it well. They say time heals and you can move on, but in very special love it sometimes cannot be possible. He became a part of my soul and that you can never run from💔💘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t know what to say…
      But, Thank you for stopping by 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Touching and sincere. Thank you for sharing and I hope everything will turn out fine.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Unfortunately everything is not fine…
      Anyway, Thank you so much ma’am for stopping by 😇

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand. Life is very painful sometimes. Hold on. And have a good weekend.

        Liked by 1 person

  26. This is beautiful!
    Keep going!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. I thought this was really for sometime, felt the emotions. Loved it 💓

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Lovely post. Reminds me of my posts titled ‘Retrospection’ and “I’m waiting” but you have described the feelings even better!! 🙂 but I would say that not only your fictions are amazing but your posts on social issues are like mind blowing!!! 😀 keep up the good work!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Shreya 😇
      I read both posts you have have mentioned… I would say, NEVER compare your writings with ANYONE… Your posts are BEAUTIFUL in their own way! Stick to your style and keep trying new topics :)) Wish you a happy blogging journey 👍

      Like

  29. well the poet definitely listened to his heart in this piece and dictated the mind

    Liked by 2 people

      1. geetika says welcome

        Liked by 1 person

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