Today I’m going to share something that I had kept concealed down in my memory lane,
Something hidden in a secret folder,
Where I keep all the evocative memories of her,
Memories of her ardent love,
Memories of “us” which now cause nothing but overwhelming surges of pain.
Yeah, she left me.
She left me when we’d decided to shelve the “US”
She left saying : we’ll just be friends.
After her exit, I couldn’t make another fresh start.
She’d told me to keep her out of my mind,
Little did she know what she was leaving behind.
Loving her has been like breathing underwater,
And I think I’m sinking to the ocean floor now.
I tried to move on,
I tried really hard when she was gone.
But, nothing stopped me from going back to her,
She tore me apart once again,
like an ocean tears the sand,
And I kept longing to know the thoughts in her mind.
I think sedation won’t happen now,
And pain of this will never cease.
Now I’m drowned deep inside her love,
I worshiped what we had and I believe in infinity of my love,
But for her, the love is gone in a blink of an eye,
I didn’t correct her innocent lie.
All these memories only bring emptiness and feelings of nothing.
And when I think of ‘us’,
my whole body screams in agony,
Was it just a cruel game played by the destiny ?
I thought, I must find someone who will make me forget her.
I searched, I searched a lot,
But I found nobody who can fill the empty void that she has left in me.
maybe the problem is that i’m searching for her,
but again, she is the only one.
Maybe I’m not ready, probably never will be,
To see that she have no love left for me.
The very depth of my soul still longs for her,
I still want her, her present and her future.
But, my mind is screaming at me,
“let go, she’s not good for you, she doesn’t deserve your love”
Who do I listen to? My heart, who yearns for her,
or my mind, who is screaming at me that she doesn’t deserve my love ?
I guess my stubborn heart is the one who is dominating this race,
Hence, even if she broke my heart into a million pieces, I will still be here waiting.
Because, I still love her and who knows what the future holds.
No I don’t expect anything from her,
Anything. but one thing:
To remember that at least one person is loving,
ready to welcome her with open arms.
And protect her from all of the harms.
I don’t think he’s stupid enough to breakup with her,
But if he does, I don’t want her to think that she’s worthless.
Because I have gone through that situation and I know how insecurity can become too ruthless.
“Believe me you’re special.
Special enough to make me happily offer my heart, once again.
Which is and will always be yours”
Copyrighted © 2017
Mahesh Mali |Awesomengers
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED