Heart or Mind ?

Illustration of heart and mind trying to pull the man to their respective side
Image borrowed from the internet

Today I’m going to share something that I had kept concealed down in my memory lane,

Something is hidden in a secret folder,

Where I keep all the evocative memories of her,

Memories of her ardent love,

Memories of “us” which now cause nothing but overwhelming surges of pain.

Yeah, she left me.

She left me when we’d decided to shelve the “US”

She left saying: we’ll just be friends.

After her exit, I couldn’t make another fresh start.

She’d told me to keep her out of my mind,

Little did she know what she was leaving behind.

Loving her has been like breathing underwater,

And I think I’m sinking to the ocean floor now.

I tried to move on,

I tried really hard when she was gone.

But, nothing stopped me from going back to her,

She tore me apart once again,

like an ocean tears the sand,

And I kept longing to know the thoughts in her mind.

I think sedation won’t happen now,

And the pain of this will never cease.

Now I’m drowned deep inside her love,

I worshipped what we had and I believe in the infinity of my love,

But for her, the love is gone in a blink of an eye,

I didn’t correct her innocent lie.

All these memories only bring emptiness and feelings of nothing.

And when I think of ‘us’,

my whole body screams in agony,

Was it just a cruel game played by destiny?

I thought I must find someone who will make me forget her.

I searched, I searched a lot,

But I found nobody who can fill the empty void that she has left in me.

maybe the problem is that I’m searching for her,

but again, she is the only one.

Maybe I’m not ready, probably never will be,

To see that she have no love left for me.

The very depth of my soul still longs for her,

I still want her, her present and her future.

But, my mind is screaming at me,

“let go, she’s not good for you, she doesn’t deserve your love”

Who do I listen to? My heart, who yearns for her,

or my mind, who is screaming at me that she doesn’t deserve my love?

I guess my stubborn heart is the one who is dominating this race,

Hence, even if she broke my heart into a million pieces, I will still be here waiting.

Because I still love her and who knows what the future holds.

No, I don’t expect anything from her,

Anything. but one thing:

To remember that at least one person is loving,

ready to welcome her with open arms.

And protect her from all of the harms.

I don’t think he’s stupid enough to break up with her,

But if he does, I don’t want her to think that she’s worthless.

Because I have gone through that situation and I know how insecurity can become too ruthless.
To her,

“Believe me you’re special.

Special enough to make me happily offer my heart, once again.

Which is and will always be yours”

– Mahesh


Copyrighted © 2017

Mahesh Mali |Awesomengers

Published by Mahesh Mali

Author of 'Reflections of My Youth' | Student @ SPPU | Former Fellow @BeingVolunteer | Freelancer @PlayoApp | Tennis Player

136 thoughts on “Heart or Mind ?

  1. Oh my!This must have been horrible for you and somewhere deep down you know,better things await for you.
    Don’t hang on the past,I would say.Time heals everything.Trust me.

    Liked by 9 people

  2. OMG! This left me speechless, Mr Positive. These lines, “Loving her has been like breathing underwater”, these are so intense. One of your best works, definitely. I can never imagine how it feels like to find your love with someone else, but it’s just that everything will heal one day, I’m sure. As I always say, when she will come, she’ll bring a flood of love with her. ☺ You deserve all the love, and she would make you realise how beautiful and important and amazing you truly are. Do not restrict yourself, and stay happy and healthy. 💙 Lots of love. 😇

    -Firefly 🐝

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Is this really fiction? Seems like real, you described really well.
    Remembers me to my write up “brain&heart”

    Don’t listen to your heart btw, listen to your mind!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hati is nickname of mine, well in hindi its meaning is “elephant ” 😅but mine came from turkish. Short version of “hatice” as my name is Nurgül Hatice 😊

        Oh… You know few days back I was about to delete it, I am not sure if I could express well… maybe u’ll hurry 😅

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well I just Googled “Hati” { though i know hati matlab elephant 😬 }
        and I found that in Indonesian “hati” means “heart”

        Okay, now what’s the meaning of Nurgul ? 😬😂 am I asking too much questions ?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hati in indonesian ❤️?!!! Wow I am speechless thank youuu, now I have finally a beautiful meaning and can back off all elephant sayer😅😅😅😅

        Nurgül means shine of rose- or roseshine

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank god it’s fiction.. Blogs are filled with guys crying for lost love… Sometimes I really don’t know whether to comment on such posts.. Because when I commiserate the guy says he just wrote it… What a dilemma

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Only Indians are obsessed with age. Every other country takes a human as a human. Respect doesn’t come by age. It comes with the strength of character

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Wow! This is so amazing! Your words caused me to feel this pain you’ve been feeling. It’s hard, I know. But hold on to hope. Everything will fall into place very soon. 😊💐

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I saw the tag “Fiction” and I sincerely hope it was… But I think this is a reality that plays out for many – we have all been at one or the other end in our life. Great work!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Mcube you always leave me spellbound with your words… Your fictions and it’s realities…
    Sometimes things are not meant as we want though it’s veryyy difficult but yes moving on is the only option people are left with. Time heals every pain and so it will. Destiny is very powerful and you’ll sure get the one you deserve.
    My Pixie Dust is always on you😇
    All the Best for Future!
    Keep Writing the magical words.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Amazing ……… It’s good that you shared this secret folder which u wanted to share long back but couldn’t and at last You’ve decided to share it . “Love ” ❤️is a wonderful feeling that is rare to find no doubt in it but the most important fact relies is the very strong fact that “Love with the right person is a blessing and with the wrong person is Learning ”

    Wonderful post. 👍keep sharing such stories : Fiction or Real 😅doesn’t matter .
    Loved the way you expressed it 😊✌️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, come on ! You’re an authoress right ? So, you must be knowing that how much we our words… so when you READ their posts and share your views/criticism or whatever, believe me they’ll visit your blog for sure and if they like your blog they will start following.

        And about “you-don’t-know-them” thing… if you are comfortable asking them to visit your blog HERE, I don’t think there should be any problem asking them on THEIR BLOG. I don’t know why you want to visit them FIRST, why can’t you visit others ? You said you want to make new friends… well, it seems likes you want READERS/FOLLOWERS not FRIENDS. If you want friends, it’s always good to take a lead… I hope you got my point

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, I wanted readers not followers mark u, I have a lot of them out their, though everyone would love to have much more. Don’t u know dat before an author or authoress writes his or her book, he has to post something for criticism to see his mistakes and correct it. So am trying to blend in as no one to know dat

        Liked by 1 person

      3. And about visiting them, I do too and also follow them. Am a kind of person that loves her fans and followers, I don’t take advantage and like u knw…lol. So I don’t get tired of them following me xxoo!, but if they don’t, I still appreciate them too

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohhh, I hope you’ll recover from that very soon.. and believe me, when the heartache will fade, you will see the good in “goodbye”. Please don’t ever take whatever happened personally. It just means that you’re destined to be the romantic co-star in someone else’s life-movie 😎✌

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Lovely post. Reminds me of my posts titled ‘Retrospection’ and “I’m waiting” but you have described the feelings even better!! 🙂 but I would say that not only your fictions are amazing but your posts on social issues are like mind blowing!!! 😀 keep up the good work!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Shreya 😇
      I read both posts you have have mentioned… I would say, NEVER compare your writings with ANYONE… Your posts are BEAUTIFUL in their own way! Stick to your style and keep trying new topics :)) Wish you a happy blogging journey 👍


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